STAR-CROSSED

Fly away,
Into the blue sky
Find your way,
Far from my shadow.

Higher and higher,
Up you go;
Your wings on fire,
You soar into the unknown.

Don't worry about,
Who you left behind;
Don't try to reach out,
Don't try to find

Starcrossed that we are
I am setting you free
Maybe another lifetime
Until then remember me

The Dating Cheat Sheet

Before I begin this post, I would like all my readers to note that this blog post is not about anybody specific. It is just good advice for all the newbies.

It may be the first time you are going to ask someone out or the last time. You maybe a (he, she) couple or a ( she, she) couple or a (he, he) couple.

She could be fat. He could be a geek.

She could be loud. She could love the color black.  

He could be an introvert. He could be outspoken.

I think those are enough examples. You must have gotten the point by now.

Rule #1: No one’s perfect.

If you keep that in mind, I think you are all set. You would make a very understanding partner. There are always some habits of our partners that we don’t like. But it is those quirks/habits that makes them unique. And trust me, you don’t want your partner to be like anybody else’s ! Just like you wouldn’t want wearing the same dress  as someone else! So, we have to learn to accept the trivial quirky stuff.  And no, don’t compromise, just be tolerant. And if you ever think, that the grass is greener on the other side, go and test the other side. You would be quite wrong.

You might already be in a relationship. Say it’s been a year or maybe even 5. As time and your relationship progresses, you come to know more things about your partner. Life puts you thru various challenges. Difficult circumstances sometimes change a person.

Rule#2: Remember, change is the only constant in life. It applies to all living & non –living things in this universe.

For instance, your partner may have lost a parent or is facing a midlife crisis or is out of a job. Something like this would definitely change a person’s perspective towards life. Accept this change and move forward hand in hand.

Gestures are always more effective than words. Else why would snubbing someone be more insulting than swearing at a person? Jokes apart, if you partner is sick, you would tend to him/her. No matter how busy your schedule is, make sure that you make time for your partner. To show that you care, you don’t have to go out of your way and make a big statement. It could be as simple as helping with the housework (Men, take a hint) or suggesting changes to a presentation.   

Rule #3: Say & do the right things at the right time.

No one likes to show up alone at a party and have people bug you endlessly about the whereabouts of your latter half. Oh yeah, people have the tendency to get on your nerves by asking you really stupid questions about such things. Even after you have answered their questions satisfactorily by saying he/she is sick and at home, they will still keep babbling “Why” over and over again! So, make the effort, make the appearance, go the extra mile, be kind & thoughtful, not because you are supposed to but because you want to.

Tolerance, patience, adaptability, kindness & big, old LOVE is your guide to a successful relationship! Follow these rules and you are golden!

 

DESI VIBE

Are you feeling it yet? Don’t ask me what! The desi vibe, why of course! It’s all over the world. I was reading the New York Times and I came across this article on how some of the landmark hotels in New York and other places in the U.S. were being acquired by Indians. To start with, we, desi’s have acquired the Plaza Hotel in New York, the Ritz-Carlton in Boston (now Taj Boston) and probably, very soon we would have acquired the Waldorf Astoria in New York. OMG!!! I have always wanted to visit the Waldorf Astoria. I had always dreamt of a dinner date or a quaint tea party at the Astoria. I am just worried if these hotels might be Indianized and might lose their old-world English charm forever.

Yoga, Deepak Chopra, Outsourcing Facilitated Company Transfers, Kurtis, Chicken Tandoori and Slumdog Millionaire have allowed a leeway for more Indianness to be incorporated in the American society. But do we want that? I mean aren’t we Indians always complaining that our country is becoming more and more “Westernized”. Then wouldn’t Americans be complaining about their country being Indianized? It is only a matter of time before we see “Poori Bhaji” on the menu of the Beverly Hilton one day because they do have Tandoori Chicken on their menu, already!

Except for the huge fact that my family & close friends are not here, you still get a feel of Indianness here. You always bump into Indians here and there, at work or while you are doing laundry. Sometimes it feels good to see familiar faces while sometimes you can just hear the sound of your bubble bursting. At times, you find some habits of your fellow countrymen amusing, while sometimes they are plain annoying!  

 My problem is not that a lot of desi’s are making huge acquisitions here. I don’t want to get into economics, I am happy for both the countries. Ever since, I have been to the U.S. I have met and socialized with more Indians than I ever did while I was actually in India. I was almost a recluse while I was in India. I have been seeing Indians, Indian food, Indian clothes, and other things Indian in large amounts in the U.S. Not that there is anything wrong with it! It’s just that my bubble kinda burst! Going away to a foreign land makes you feel that you are going away somewhere exotic, some place mysterious. But after seeing my own kind here, I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. Not that there’s anything wrong with ethnic diversity. I support it, totally!

If it weren’t for globalization, not many people would have had the chance to experience living in other countries. No more is travelling abroad a luxury or an achievement. During old days, when Indians living abroad came back to India, they were felicitated with garlands! What crap, right? I even have a few photographs to prove that. But as the cultural & national gaps dissolve, over exposure to other civilizations might discourage a fervent globetrotter who would think it is better to sit at home as his globetrotting needs will be satisfied there easily. It is a complex problem, although not critical. But nonetheless, do we have any solutions?

PS: This article does not intend to offend any country or their citizens. This post is not to be taken seriously.

That's how I feel today..

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

When everything is coming your way......you're in the wrong lane.

If you think nobody cares if you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments!

And maybe I'm a little smarter now than I was before for all the stupid things I've done.

Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.

When you hold resentment towards another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.

Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.

"And this mess is so big
And so deep and so tall,
We cannot pick it up.
There is no way at all!”

Housework can kill you if done right.

“A messy house is a must - it separates your true friends from other friends.
Real friends are there to visit you not your house!”

ROBIN

Sometimes when you are going thru the worst moments of your life, when most people around you are acting selfish, and suddenly out of nowhere, the frown on your face turns into a smile. Well not like a sarcastic grin which actually means, ‘God, you never miss to screw me up!’ .  Its just that, you smile when you are all tensed, just because you remembered someone who did something for you selflessly. I went thru something like that, quite recently. It wasn’t my friends or my family whom I thought of, it was my pet – ROBIN. And so here goes...

Dear Robin,

They say that a dog is a man’s best friend. You were mine. Throughout my childhood, if there was one friend who was fiercely protective of me, extremely faithful, it was you. You not only kept me safe, but my house & family too.

I am sorry I wasn’t by your side when you were sick. I am sorry I didn’t shed tears when you passed away. But I am now. I guess I never got over the fact that you had gone. Just like that. As a kid, I thought, we would grow up side by side. But now, I know nothing lasts forever. And that is why, I owe you this tribute.

No one will ever take your place in my heart, my furry friend. I can never forget our little games of hide and seek or when I used to sneak meat off my plate and pass it to you under the dining table. Whenever I had a fight with my friends, you were always there – ready to play! I can never forget the time when you were locked inside our shop for hours or when the PMC officers took you away to put you down or when you went missing for 3 days!

Once while walking down the road with my mother & aunt, you barked off a man on a bicycle – for no reason – but I felt that was your way of showing us that you cared. That was one of the many times I felt proud of you. You always tried to please my grandfather & mother, although they never really liked dogs. But let me tell you, they speak of you fondly to this day.

 Men and women spend their lives trying to find the perfect companion. If there was at least one human being with at least half of your qualities, it would be an astonishing feat. I hope you come back to me someday. Or at least keep coming back in my dreams. I am not trying to hold you back or anything. You have transitioned into another world & I hope you are in peace.

Goodbye. Woof!

A dog is not "almost human" and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. ~John Holmes

  

ARE YOU ALLOWED TO SCREW UP??

Sometimes people go thru a bad phase in their life. Again, “bad” is a relative term here. It may vary from one person to another. A bad phase could mean falling prey to an illness for one person while for the other it may mean going bankrupt. Any kind of struggle in your life has both a good and a bad impact on your psyche. You may emerge a little bit stronger after the struggle but you might have grown a little bit bitter.

If you have gone thru a really, really bad phase then you are unlikely to erase or overcome very quickly the negative feelings that are brewing inside you as a result of that ordeal. People might offer you kind words and support, but it is easier said than done to wipe out the ghosts of your past. So, what do you do? How do you come out of it? Will your sufferings alter your outlook towards life and the way you deal with people or will you be unaffected? Will you turn into a weakling or will you tread this dangerous path of life like a braveheart?

Most people I know, who have had their share of trials and tribulations haven’t made it thru. Very few people have successfully battled the ghosts of their past and are at a good place in their life. Its not necessary that those people who didn’t successfully emerge out of an ordeal are losers. Maybe it was high time that the cookie crumbled. Maybe they have had enough and can’t take it anymore. So, I say its ok to screw up for once in your life. Its ok if you make a mistake. You don’t have to be the strong one always. You don't have to be crucified for that either. Remember, during our childhood, if we were very ill, our parents would give in to most of our demands? So, if you have been going thru a hard time for long, then its ok even if you make a mistake.

No one’s perfect and no one is expected to be. Perfection=Fanaticism for me. The world might judge you for straying from your path or not bearing your responsibilities properly. But who are these people that judge you? Instead of just pointing fingers at you, if they looked inside themselves, they would understand how shallow they are.  If all the right doors are closed for you, it is ok to go and knock on the wrong one once in a while. We didn’t ask to be born. We have been given this life without a choice and we have to live it whether we like it or not. If your life is already miserable, indulge yourself once in a while in some guilty pleasure!

 GO AHEAD AND MAKE THAT MISTAKE, EVEN IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL GUILTY! YOU DESERVE SOME HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE..HOW ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE IT?

THE PERFECT VALENTINE

Alright, so after scrounging my cupboard for about an hour, I finally found this poem that I had written during my 3rd year of engineering. And since Valentine's day is just around the corner, I thought I would post this. I hadn't titled this poem when I had written it.In fact the only person whom I had recited this poem to was my college friend Priya Jha. (Priya, if you are reading this, I hope you recollect!) Anyways, all my dear readers if you can come up with a better title for this poem your suggestions are welcome. This title's way too cheesy! Happy Valentine's in advance :)

I have been dreaming about us

Sitting in a café by the street

Shyly stealing glances

In the summer heat

As you look away from my gaze

I look deep into your eyes so hazel

Wishing to find the same softness in them

When you walk towards me down the aisle

Then I ask you to dance

And your lips break into a smile

My heart misses a beat

Happiness replaces my inner turmoil

You ask me if I love you

With tears running down your face

And I find no better way to answer

Than to hold you in my warm embrace

ARIA

She saw the golden sun in the distance walking up the hill towards her. She smiled. The warmth in his gaze turned her dreams into reality. As his bright light showed her the path,she happily trode on it. He spoke of things unbeknownst to her. He played the symphony of life which confused her. He played it until it dawned upon her what her destiny was.

 

She ran until she could no more hear the music. Her mind numb by what she had just understood. Like the climax of an opera things suddenly fell into place. She turned back and traced her footsteps back to the spot where she had seen him last. It was dark and the moon shone brightly from behind the clouds. She waited. Hours passed. She waited.

 

A dew drop fell on her forehead. She stirred in her sleep. The sun was shining brightly. She smiled as he walked towards her and embraced her. She glowed as she held onto him. Her only source of strength, her only guide was back. As they became one, the sun turned a deep shade of orange before disappearing below the horizon.

READ ME

1. Last movie you saw in a theatre?
Mission Impossible - 4 (Tell me again, why did they produce the 4th movie?)
2. What book are you reading?
Steve Jobs, duh!
3. Favorite board game?
Scrabble
4. Favorite magazine?
Reader's Digest, Prevention
5. Favorite smells?
The smell of the flower Mogra, cake while it is being baked, chicken tandoori.
6. Favorite sounds?
The sound of a violin playing, the sound of heavy rains
7. Worst feeling in the world?
Being abandoned
8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Sulk if its a weekday, Rejoice if its a weekend!
9. Favorite fast food place?
 The real Burger King.
10. Future child’s name?
 Huh! Lets see in the future.
11. Finish this statement - "If I had lot of money I'd…?
1) Buy stuff for the less fortunate who cannot afford those things.
2) Travel the world.
3) Buy a fully stocked designer wardrobe.
12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
 No. Never did, actually.
13. Storms - cool or scary?
Cool when they are on TV, scary when you are in it.
14. Favourite drink?
Cold Coffee.Chilled Rasna!
15. Finish this statement, "If I had the time I would…"?
Invent a time machine..
Find a Genie..
Find God, if there is one and ask him a few questions..
16. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
Dye them red, I guess. Or at least give them a red tinge.
17. Name all the different cities/towns you've lived in?
Mumbai, Chennai, Pune.
18. Favourite sports to watch? 
F1.Period.
19. What's under your bed?
Some junk, I don't even remember what is it.
20. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
No. Given a choice, I wouldn't want to be born again.
21. Morning person, or night owl?
Morning person. Cannot stay up late, causes acidity.
22. Over easy, or sunny side up?
What does that mean?
23. Favourite place to relax?
In the arms of my loved one, or next to my pet dog (if I had one).
24. What song are you listening to at this moment?
 Pal Pal Dil ke Paas,Tum Ho (Rockstar), O Saiyyan (Agneepath).
25. Favourite ice cream flavour?
Mango. I do not understand why people like Butterscotch!

SUIT UP!

The finest clothing made is a person's skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.  ~Mark Twain

Have you ever scoffed at someone who did not dress appropriately as per the situation? Imagine attending a funeral wearing a brightly colored dress or meeting the Queen in your favorite Nike shoes? I am not exaggerating! Such people do exist! Here are a few queer examples.

There's a very flamboyant lady,if I may call her a lady, at my workplace who insists on matching her lipstick with her footwear. And believe it or not, one fine day she wore a pink top with white trousers, pink lipstick splashed across her lips, pink eye shadow and two huge pink banana clips in her hair! Not to forget pink slippers too! So much for respecting the dress code guidelines mandated by the organization.

From afar, she looked like one big pink marshmallow! This ain't the first time she's tried this gimmick to catch public attention and needless to say she succeded very well this time. As they say, there is no such thing as bad publicity!

The men aren't any better at this. On a Friday, when the dress code is casual, a gentleman at my workplace wore a pair of jeans with a baby pink t-shirt with a playboy sign on it. I mean if he was trying to send out some kind of a signal to all the gay men out there then at least he could have been subtle about it. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, one can love whoever they want to. The issue here is bad dressing sense! Pink does look good on some men, but the playboy symbol? I mean, isn't that pushing the envelope a little too much there?And plus his body language wasn't helping much either!

 

The above instances were from my workplace. But otherwise too, there are a lot of people who dress inappropriately. For e.g., the middle aged woman next door who dresses up like a teenager eventually ending up coming across as a cougar or the 16 year old guy in your building who keeps a moustache and dresses up like a 40 year old trying to come across as real mature! You might think that I am being very superficial here. One should focus on the values that are instilled in a person and other qualities such as politeness, smartness, being funny etc. But imagine all the above mentioned qualities plus a good dressing sense, and you would look like a million bucks! Isn't that what all of us want? (You may say no but in your heart of hearts, that is what you want.)

 

In India people don't have money to buy clothes, and if they do then why not spend it wisely & carefully. One doesn't have to buy Chanel & Gucci branded garments, but dressing up decently & appropriately is the least one can do. First impression is the last impression especially in the case of job interviews, arranged marriage proposals, MBA interviews etc. In such instances even before you open your mouth, you have already been judged on the basis of what clothes you are wearing & your body language. So, beware! Life gives second chances to only the lucky ones. If you are in the "aam janta" like me, I wouldn't really let something so superficial like dressing up get in the way of happiness.

SOUL CURRY

Like every writer I find solace in my writing. Here are a few thoughts I have penned down. I am sure all of us have felt this way at some point in life.

Did you ever wonder why
Things didn't go your way?
Like your childhood
Why wasn't life a child's play?

How many more sorrows
In life's basket lie?
Will there be happiness
Before we die?

Wise men say,
Seek happiness within you.
The more I do that,
The more my future seems blue!

I don't know what's right or wrong anymore
I don't have the strength to carry on.
If there is a God I want to believe in him
Else bury me in the Earth where I came from...